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datatime: 2022-11-26 18:03:03 Author:ypxQzLCg

I shook my head. I'm not competing with you, Richard, or anyone else. I don't give a shit who's better or faster or braver.

Just to see if I can.

I held my hand out for the flashlight.

I shook my head. I have to do it, Richard.

He shook his head. This isn't courage, Anita, this is stubbornness.

If I can crawl down into that hole.

Give me the flashlight, Richard.

I shook my head. I have to do it, Richard.

Because it scares me, and I have to know if I can.

Give me the flashlight, Richard.

Why? and the anger was more than a faint hint now.

And I can taste fresh blood on yours, but I have to do it because it scares me.

Why do you have to be the toughest, the bravest? Why can't you, just once, let me do something for you? Going down in the hole doesn't scare me. Let me do this for you. Please. His voice was still soft, and he was leaning into me enough so that I could smell the drying blood on him, the richness of fresh blood in his mouth, as if some small cut had not healed completely.

Why? and his voice held the first hint of anger, like a slap of warmth.

Just to see if I can.

He clutched the flashlight tighter. Why? And somehow I thought the question was about more than the oubliette and why I had to climb inside it.

I shook my head. I'm not competing with you, Richard, or anyone else. I don't give a shit who's better or faster or braver.

I looked at him, at the puzzlement in his face, his eyes, which had bled back to their normal, perfect brown. I'd been trying to explain shit like this to Richard for a few years now. I finally realized that he would never understand and I was tired of trying to explain myself, not just to Richard, to everybody.

Give me the flashlight, Richard.

I shook my head. No. He's mine.

Then why do it?

He knelt beside me and spoke softly, I can smell your fear. I know you don't like close places.

I looked at him, at the puzzlement in his face, his eyes, which had bled back to their normal, perfect brown. I'd been trying to explain shit like this to Richard for a few years now. I finally realized that he would never understand and I was tired of trying to explain myself, not just to Richard, to everybody.

And I can taste fresh blood on yours, but I have to do it because it scares me.

He knelt beside me and spoke softly, I can smell your fear. I know you don't like close places.

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